If you knowingly keep information from a sex partner because you believe it will determine how they consent to you, then it’s rape by deception, it doesn’t really matter what “it” is.

This post is old but is making rounds again, and there are some old arguments from rape apologists in the notes who are so positive I wrote this to only be Big and Mean to trans people. So here’s a fun list of other items besides being trans:

• positive STD statuses and/or the last time you were tested
• your marriage/partners. Also, probably should be honest about going through a divorce.
• if you’re not a virgin - people use this to sleep with virgins, so creepy and nasty, just tell the truth if you’ve had sex before
• your drug addiction - no, not weed you morons. if you are a meth addict, or a heroine addict, etc etc, you need to disclose that before you have sex with someone. this is a big deal, and people have a lot of reasons to say “no” to sex with someone with a drug addiction that has nothing to do with their ideas of morality concerning drugs.
• the last time you took drugs and what drugs - like if you took a line of cocaine 15 years ago in college, that’s not what I’m talking about. if you got high 6 hours ago, don’t try to pass off that you didn’t. don’t try to convince someone you’re fine to have sex with because you’re “def coming down.”
• if you are or are not using birth control
• lying about your identity. (don’t try to pick up people by telling them you are someone else entirely that is so fucking creepy)
• if you want to try something unusual/dangerous during sex with them. it’s extremely manipulative to act like you’re on the same page about the sex you want to have with someone and then half way through tell them you want to cuff them to the bed or use a whip or something. it’s hard to say “no” to someone when their penis is literally inside of you, and rapists know that. So just be fucking real with people if you’re into weird kinky shit so you can have sex with like minded people instead of tricking uncomfortable people who are suddenly at your mercy.
• Things you KNOW are important to someone, even if they’re little. If you genuinely did not think a piece of information would have made a difference to someone, that’s different. If you think it’s stupid that the person you’re talking to doesn’t want to sleep with anyone who, let’s say, owns a bird…okay, who knows what up with that person I agree it’s weird. But if you own a bird and you know they don’t like it? don’t lie or hide it. You don’t get to impose your own sense of boundaries on someone. Go find someone you don’t think is weird to have sex with! the world is full of people who would agree with you about the bird thing, so leave this one goof ball alone!

“You don’t get to impose your own sense of boundaries on someone”

I support lesbians even if they're insane

also also if you want to have productive feminist conversations for real, not just make jokey posts online (which fair, you can do that I don't care), you just have to accept that some women's first day is today. like they had a realization today. today is the day their life changed. if some 60 year old married woman comes to you curious about some feminist thought she just considered for the first time, is she past her prime made her bed too later for her we don't want to hear it? if some 20 something is in the porn industry and can't get out but still wants to work some of her conflicted feelings on an anonymous blog, are you going to say get out of here you dumb stupid fuck you don't know what you're talking about? all hope for women, we're building the hope for women. men will never give us hope on a silver platter, we make the hope.

i think it’s time for tumblr to start ignoring mass reports. who cares if my post about killing men offended people

honestly i just think we all need to slow down

like. im serious. when was the last time you read a book and paid attention to every word and actually tried to absorb what you were reading. when was the last time you saw a piece of art and considered the hours it took to bring it into fruition. when was the last time you closed your eyes when listening to an album for a first time and kept them closed until the final song ended. have you gone to the park lately just to watch the birds fly from perch to perch? have you stopped to count your blessings?

mean lesbians & evil bisexuals we need to unionize